Merry Christmas Sweetie

For the past three years, my christmas has never been the same. The warmth and love of my family has always been around and yet, it has been much more colorful because of you. Your unconditional love has been my strength this tough year. You have taken me in your arms and hold me tight in times when I was weak, hurt, angry and difficult. You have always put a smile on my face and kiss the tears away. To my man who I love so dearly, Merry Christmas! I love you so much!

Like A Star by Corinne Bailey Rae

Just like a star across my sky,
Just like an angel off the page,
You have appeared to my life,
Feel like I'll never be the same,
Just like a song in my heart,
Just like oil on my hands,
Honour to love you

Still I wonder why it is,
I don't argue like this,
With anyone but you,
We do it all the time,
Blowing out my mind,

You've got this look I can't describe,
You make me feel like I'm alive,
When everything else is au fait,
Without a doubt you're on my side,
Heaven has been away too long,
Can't find the words to write this song,
Oh...
Your love,

I came across this song while browsing in YouTube and it just hit home. Soulful voice and words that captures it all. Simply beautiful!

Sunday Evening Thought

There are things that I would like to happen if only my will is granted. Time takes it toll on me sometimes and I keep on wishing that things will materialize the way I want them too. But that is not always the case. As days, weeks, months and years pass by, valuable lessons are learned every single day.

Lesson 1: Waiting.

It is a double edged sword. You either mature and grow as a person or it could be, you grow idle and dull. Waiting teaches us to be patient. It teaches us that there is a time for everything and in it's due time, things will fall in its place. They also say, good things happen to those who wait. This maybe true to some but there are also people who waited long enough and yet all those efforts went into vain. So where do you draw the line? Tough call, very.

Lesson 2: People.

Change is the only constant thing in this world and some people in our lives will have a change of heart. They are not always the way they are. Some will hurt us, some will betray us and some loves us more. Friendships just like any form of relationship has an end and you have to know when to let it go. Say enough when it is enough. What good will it to you to waste your time and energy to a dying one? Use that energy instead to nurture the existing ones. Move on because at some point, there is just one thing left for you to do when you are feeling stuck, that is, to move on.

Lesson 3: Plans / Goals.

A friend of mine, Malou, posted on Facebook once and I quote: "we should never plan out our future including others in it, unless they really want to be part of it". Isn't it frustrating to plan something and realize you are the only want who is willing to work on it? People who wants to be part of your life for good will make every possible way to make it permanent...that is if they really want to be a part of it. Planning is a systematic way of doing things. It just doesn't happen overnight. It has to be voice out, drawn, carried out and not simply assume. So don't commit the mistake that we so often love to make, assumption.

Invictus

William Ernest Henley. 1849–1903

Out of the night that covers me,

Black as the Pit from pole to pole,

I thank whatever gods may be

For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance

I have not winced nor cried aloud.

Under the bludgeonings of chance

My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears

Looms but the Horror of the shade,

And yet the menace of the years

Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll,

I am the master of my fate:

I am the captain of my soul.

I memorized this poem for my public speaking class back in high school. Now that I think of it, this is the only poem that I know by heart (maybe not entirely but when prompted, I still can remember it).

I have read various interpretation of this poem but what really hit home to me is the last two lines.

I sometimes feel that I'm losing and I have slowly slipped away from my old driven self. But did I really lose it? Reading it again and focusing mainly on those two striking lines, I think that I have deliberately created a reason all these recent years and made myself believe to let things take its course.

I have forgotten one important thing: I used to make things happen.

Hostage Drama in Manila

Is it right to take the life of others for the injustices that you perceived you experienced? Desperate times calls for desperate actions but is taking lives always the answer?

At around 10 in the morning Manila time, an ex-cop flagged down a tour bus. In it are 22 people, children and elderly and mostly Hongkong nationals. The hostage-taker was identified as former Senior Inspector Rolando Mendoza. He was 55 years and was dismissed from service after being charged of extortion, robbery and grave threats. He demanded that he will be re-instated back to his job.

Just when we are starting anew as a country this thing blows up right in our faces. Watching it was both painful especially for the families of the hostages and extremely annoying. The hostage drama took more than 11 hours. This shows us the kind of preparedness our policemen have in handling this kind of situation. The officials are no where in sight when they are supposed be the one who should oversee the entire ordeal. People are on the street when they should be in their homes so as not to do any further damage (one bystander got shot of a stray bullet).

Furthermore, this news that is being watched all over the world was a big blow to tourism - the Security Bureau of Hongkong for one just give an advisory that no travel should be made in the Philippines due to severe threat, sounds like Iraq to me (http://www.sb.gov.hk/eng/ota/index.htm). If issues of terrorism is not enough to discourage travelers, this one will surely make them think twice.

I am a proud Filipino but acts of violence likes this disgusts me. This is but a barbaric act; taking innocent lives in broad daylight just to show the world that they have wronged you (provided that they did). Injustice, perceived or not, can be dealt better. Killing is NEVER the answer. Go to Iraq and fight the terrorist if you want to shot people. Killing those who can't fight back, innocent and weak will get you nowhere.

God bless Philippines!

Natural Woman by C. King

Today is song day and Anton shared to me this song. I've have heard of it but the lyrics and the artist sings it really well and it simply hit home. Dedicated to you Sweetie...

Looking out on the morning rain
I used to feel uninspired
And when I knew I had to face another day
Lord, it made me feel so tired
Before the day I met you, life was so unkind
But your love was the key to peace of mind

Cause you make me feel, you make me feel,
You make me feel like a natural woman

When my soul was in the lost-and-found
You came along to claim it
I didn't know just what was wrong with me
Till your kiss helped me name it

Now I'm no longer doubtful of what I'm living for
And if I make you happy I don't need to do more

Oh, baby, what you've done to me
You make me feel so good inside
And I just want to be close to you
You make me feel so alive

Cause you make me feel, you make me feel,
You make me feel like a natural woman

I love you so much!

Loving - Unconditionally

I know a long time ago that I can be tough to handle. I have terrible mood swings and it's hard to tell what I'm thinking. It appears that I'm very transparent to some but for the people dear to me and who really knows me, there is more to me that meets the eye. And eventhough I 'm hurting them in the process of fighting my own personal monsters, one important thing that I'm learning from these people - unconditional love.

Loving genuinely. Loving without the need to hurt me back. Loving with pure acceptance. Loving even if they are in pain. Loving and taking no accounts of my faults. Loving me with all my imperfections.

At the end of the day, I can only ask for forgiveness for the heartaches that I've caused and a desire to be better for the people that loved me the most.

Sister Talk

My mom handed me some monthly bills to pay and my sister can't help but comment when she left the room. She said, "Manang, thank you for this home, for sending me to school and for taking care good care of us." I paused and fight back the tears that is about to fall. That was my younger sister talking, a kid in my eyes and she was thanking me. I tease her and said, "Do you like me to buy you some chocolates?" she said, "No, but thank you so much."

The responsibilities that I have on my shoulder sometimes overwhelmed me. Family first before anything else. Family first before I think of my vacation. Family first over my wants. One of my close friend even tease me once, "Jane you are selfish when it comes to yourself" and I just shrugged his comment and said, "Someday".

When I think of it, God has been so good to us. Almost all businesses in Bacolod are struggling and my father's business is no exception but it came at the time that I was almost graduating and I was able to find a job that is sustainable enough for me to be able to provide my family. My sister has still 2 more years in college but I survived the first two years so I know that we will be fine. Being the breadwinner is no easy task but I am getting by and I guess more importantly, I have become a better individual through it all. I know now what is important and what is not. Knowing what is a necessity over my wants.

As I sat down beside my sister who sounded worried about me, I said.."It's all worth it, you are all worth it" and she kissed me.

My Dad and Lean

A big kiss from Lean

Ukay - Ukay

Ukay-Ukay is a Visayan term for "sift through" or "dig up" (Dr. Jaime S. Ong). It refers to the garments shipped to the Philippines as donations from some charitable group to help refugees and calamity victims. Soon enough, overseas workers learned to collect used clothing, preferably with designer labels, before it got to the Goodwill stores and send it to the Philippines in balikbayan boxes. Entrepreneurial friends and relatives would buy in bulk then sell by the piece to the public.

Ukay-ukay has been here for so long but it is only now that I really got hook into it, well me and my bestfriend actually (hehe). I remember my college classmates before, they would go to this flea market preferably early in the morning to dig up the best buy ever and looking all fashionable during our dress down days.

Just imagine a top for P50.00 ($1). You can simply mix and match it with what you have already and there, you got a new outfit without hurting your pocket. I have an unglamorous job (as others call it) that pays really well. But even if I have a considerably good paycheck every month, I still feel guilty buying branded clothes although I do splurge once in a while in them.

For a practical woman like me, ukay-ukay is such a feel-good-guilt-free way to shop clothes. This is the new stress reliever activity for me and my best friend. As what my best friend and I always say, it's not the label that we are after but the comfort of the clothes that matters. After all, if you know how to carry yourself, branded or not, you will still look good. =)

At 30

By 30, you should have:

One old boyfriend you can imagine going back to and one who reminds you of how far you’ve come.
A decent piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in your family.
Something perfect to wear if the employer or man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour.
A purse, a suitcase and an umbrella you’re not ashamed to be seen carrying.
A youth you’re content to move beyond.
A past juicy enough that you’re looking forward to retelling it in your old age.
The realization that you are actually going to have an old age—and some money set aside to help fund it.
An e-mail address, a voice mailbox and a bank account—all of which nobody has access to but you.
A résumé that is not even the slightest bit padded.
One friend who always makes you laugh and one who lets you cry.
A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill and a black lace bra.
Something ridiculously expensive that you bought for yourself, just because you deserve it.
The belief that you deserve it.
A skin-care regimen, an exercise routine and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don’t get better after 30.
A solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship and all those other facets of life that do get better.

By 30, you should know:

How to fall in love without losing yourself.
How you feel about having kids.
How to quit a job, break up with a man and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.
When to try harder and when to walk away.
How to kiss in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn’t like to happen next.
How to live alone, even if you don’t like to.
How to take control of your own birthday.
That you can’t change the length of your calves, the width of your hips or the nature of your parents.
That your childhood may not have been perfect, but it’s over.
What you would and wouldn’t do for money or love.
That nobody gets away with smoking, drinking, doing drugs or not flossing for very long.
Who you can trust, who you can’t and why you shouldn’t take it personally.
Not to apologize for something that isn’t your fault.
Why they say life begins at 30.

This was an email sent to me by one of my girl friend who is turning 30 soon. I italicized the line that doesn't fit me. I think it's a good guideline for women who is turning 30 and is still single. The second part of it is what I like the most. True enough, no matter what age you are nor how much you have grown as an individual, there are things that are out of your control..things that you can never change and it is best that you just accept it such as the nature of parents (I definitely agree).

I also agree that certain people in our lives are not there forever. Some friends drift away while some grow up with you and as time goes by, you see how beautiful that single soul is. That people will betray you, hate you and will try to change you but you got to stand your ground and walk away if necessary. That love is beautiful and it should create a happy soul not destroy it. That no matter how you love a person, you shouldn't lose yourself in it.

Never Alone

My bestfriend's song for me =) I can't help but cry and smile at the same time while listening to this.

They say, friends are the family you choose for yourself and among the many things I am proud of making is choosing you to be my best friend. Just as much, I'm thankful that you have chosen me to be your family too. I love you!!

May the angels protect you
Trouble neglect you
And heaven accept you when its time to go home
May you always have plenty
Your glass never empty
And know in your belly
You're never alone

May your tears come from laughing
You find friends worth having
With every year passing
They mean more than gold
May you win but stay humble
Smile more than grumble
And know when you stumble
You're never alone

Chorus:
Never alone
Never alone
I¹ll be in every beat of your heart
When you face the unknown
Wherever you fly
This isn't goodbye
My love will follow you stay with you
Baby you¹re never alone

Well I have to be honest
As much as I wanted
I’m not gonna promise the cold winds won¹t blow
So when hard times have found you
And your fears surround you
Wrap my love around you
You're never alone

Chorus

May the angels protect you
Trouble neglect you
And heaven accept you when its time to go home
And when hard times have found you
And your fear surrounds you
Wrap my love around you
You¹re never alone

Chorus

My love will follow you stay with you
Baby you're never alone

Simple Joys

I know I haven't blog that much at all, real life responsibilities...you get the drift. Excuses, excuses right? Truth is - I've just been a lazy ass, period.

I'm feeling existential today and for a long while, I feel like scribbling something in here. This is going to be a list of simple things that made me happy today.

• To start with - Rain this morning, to feel that cold rain on your face especially after a rough day was just pure bliss
  
• A good laugh with my sister and a bear hug from her
  
• A hearty breakfast which I ate with my hands (you can say eww, hehe) but it was a much needed meal
• A "mommy" who listens even if her tummy is aching
  
• A sneaker bar/Kitkat for a much needed endorphins
  
• A Raen-bow who lightens up my world
• A best friend who gives you an objective advice
• A husband who says he loves you even if you are being unreasonable
  

Its Gonna Make Sense

Macris, my colleague always play this song and the lyrics is just so nice that I got hook with it. It's a song from Michael Learns to Rock. Here is the link for the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iL_R---mDhc.

Life comes in many shapes
You think you know what you got
Until it changes

And life will take you high and low
You gotta learn how to walk
And then which way to go

Every choice you make
When you're lost
Every step you take
Has it's cause

Chorus:
After you clear your eyes
You'll see the light
Somewhere in the darkness
After the rain has gone
You'll feel the sun comes
And though it seems your sorrow never ends
Someday it's gonna make sense

Tears you she'd are all the same
When you laughed 'till you cried
Or broken down in pain

All the hours you have spent in the past
Worrying about
A thing that didn't last

Everything you saw
Played a part
In everything you are
In your heart

Someday you're gonna find the answers
To all the things you've become and all they've done
At your expense
Someday it's gonna make sense

Is There A Timeframe?

Is there a time frame for moving on? Should it be a week, a month or a year? It's highly relevant. We have different coping mechanisms and the depth of relationship is also something that needs to be taken into consideration. Some move on fast, some slow, some never, some too fast.

It doesn't matter what way you cope and move on but I think the general idea of moving on is to do it in a healthy manner. You do what you can to be able to get by every waking day but I think you don't want to hasten the process and in return fall flat on your ass without you realizing it. What do I mean by this?

I see some women in haste to replace the old love. Rebound is what we call it. The good thing about rebound is that it provides the needed distraction. It makes a woman feel good about herself. Adoration is good but we should be careful to distinguish one from the other, love vs. adoration. I think it is silly to hasten the process of healing just because you want to rub in your ex's face that you have moved on and as proof you have a new boy-toy. It is both childish and immature and needless to say, a desperate-pathetic act.

I admire women who takes their time to fix themselves. Women who regain their self-worth by being better in work perhaps or strengthening their relationship with family and friends now that they are single. I admire women who held their chin up and say, I was hurt and I'm still hurting and it's gonna be sometime but I know I will be okay.

Brown Noser

Brown-noser is a person who acts favorably to his or her peers to gain stasis or fancy that will eventually be used to their advantage. Such as a raise, promotion, or acceptance in a group. Usually brown-nosers will do anything to gain the approval of their person of choice.

Do you know someone who is like this? Because I sure do and I'm telling you, there is nothing good that will ever come out of it rather it is really low and classless.

I worked hard of the things I have in my life, none of them was offered in silver platter and brown-noser makes me sick and makes me laugh at the same time. They try so hard to be noticed yet you see that they are still struggling. Associating themselves to people yet they are still stuck.

Rules that I live by...

Work hard and work smart. Be efficient. Using others for your selfish motives will not do anyone good. At the end of the day, you are only cheating yourself.

Let your output do the talking. Let your work speaks for itself. If you are good, then let your work show it. Trying too hard will take so much of your energy. For women, it will only make you ugly (wink*).

What I'm really trying to say is, if you want to be on top do it without stepping, using and deceiving others. If you want it so badly, work for it. I like to take credit for the things I've done but I don't steal what's not mine. If you want to be on top, do it without cutting corners unless you want to be hated by your peers and elicit disrespect rather than respect. You are not fooling anyone but yourself -for all you know, your peers are having a good time laughing at you. Who would ever want that? I sure don't.

Goodbye AT&T

It has been 3 years that I have been working in the BPO industry. It didn't seem that long to me but yes, it has been sometime already.

We are officially closing this February 28 and being one of those people who were here from the very start of the account, I feel sad. I have grown and love this account; the up and downs of my ride as an agent, subject matter expert and above all - as a quality assurance analyst.

I've been training for a couple of days now with the new account that I will be transferred to and now that I'm down to my last two nights of evaluating agents, it is slowly sinking on me. I have develop a sence of attachment to the account and I'm saddened that the client is pulling out.

I guess this is the part really when you say to yourself time to moved on. Time to break the routine, go out once more in your comfort zone and dive deep and hard to the next thing that is waiting for you.

So long AT&T... Hello Expedia.

Sweetie

Heart's Day

Couples dating celebrating the Valentine's Day flood the mall either to watch a movie or to dine. Public display of affection is just everywhere... I happened to sit across a young couple in the jeepney on my way to dinner who are making out oblivious of the public watching them.

Valentine's day might be overrated to some but it is still a day a lot of people look forward to celebrating. It is a day when couples, young and old, married or not, group of friends, co-workers and family go out and express love to the people dear to them.

While I have the luxury of showing my parents and my sister how much I loved them, my partner is half way around the globe and I was contented of having him on the phone on this special day.

And yet, he maybe thousand of miles away but it did not stop him from making the hearts day so special for me. If there is a will, there is a way indeed (wink).

I was surprised to see Sed walked in at out dinner place carrying gifts for me. Here I am thinking I'm going to be the one to surprised her with our present, turns out I was wrong. I am happy with the simple things life has to offer me and was surprised with the extravagant surprise of my Sweetie.

Now looking all the presents, I am nothing but overwhelmed. I love gushing about them, how can I not and I would be a hypocrite if I say I don't feel extremely lucky for such expression of love by my partner.

But more than the extravagant presents, time and again he keeps going out of his way, go through all the troubles just to make me feel that he is just closed to me. More than the goods, it is the thought that counts. That not even the Pacific ocean can stop him from making me feel so special. I am appreciated and loved above all no questions asked and I love him so much from the bottom of my heart.


PS: Sweetie, I want you to know that I feel your love for me every single day without a doubt. You said it yourself, you are here with me day in and day out. Night and day for the last 14 months. I love you so much!

Sed, thank you for helping Anton do this for me. We owe you big time. Thank you for being there for us. I love you!

A great fiance/soon-to-be-husband and a great best friend...anything is possible with you two around, hehe.

One of Those Days

This is one of those days when all I want to do is stay home and lie in bed
This is one of those days when I can used a really good read and think of nothing but be consumed in my own little world
This is one of those days when I feel like watching some feel good movies without a care in the world
This is one of those days when the feel of cold water and sand on my feet is just pure heaven
This is one of those days when indulging in ice cream and chocolates seems a very good idea
This is one of those days when I want romantic music fill my room and I just day dream
This is one of those days when I can really use a road trip down to nowhere I have never been
This is one of those days when I wish it is raining hard and I'm home in bed
This is one of those days....

At Twenty Three

Dear God,

Thank you for giving me another year. Thank you for my great friends. Thank you for my supportive parents. Thank you for giving me a thoughtful sister. Thank for my crazy co-workers. Thank you for the strangers I meet everyday. Thank you for Anton. Thank you for blessing me all these years.

You have given me much and have always guide me and I thank you so much. But dear God, I have one birthday wish this year. I've been storming heavens lately for you to make this come true and we are working on it too... Fulfill my hearts desire, our hearts desire. I know in your own time you will make it happen but please, I hope it's soon.

Amen.

Your child,

Janey

Is Your Man Sensitive Enough?

She and I haven't talk for sometime already. Last time we did she almost broke down in tears. I dismissed it, although I was tempted to ask what's going on after she shot me a look. Obviously, she don't want to talk about it in front of her boyfriend.

Today like almost every single day is a slow day. I asked her to go out and have lunch with me. The moment we settled, she explained to me what was happening to her relationship. I sat there, attentively listening to their issues.

Issue#1: He don't listen to me. If I say something, he always think I am overreacting and that I'm being childish. I rather keep my mouth shut because if I attempt to explain what's going on, he thinks I am complaining again.

My partner always say that the best thing about us is that we communicate. Very true. We have our moment of misunderstanding(who doesn't) but we solved it right away by talking about it. Avoiding the issue won't help. I have my moments of irrationality and when I do so, I feel like it would be better if I hide things from him. Sometimes, I feel that I can resolved it on my own or the ill feelings will go away after a day. I am mistaken in ever thinking that. I don't feel any better if I hide things from him. In fact, I was never successful of hiding things from him. At the end of day, what makes me feel better is that we talk about what every petty things I feel. We objectively discuss familial and work concerns.

You see, it's not overreacting or being childish if you say your concern. If it is and you maintain an open relationship, your partner will certainly tell you. If you are going overboard and the issues you are whining about our baseless, he will tell you. If he is really concern and wants to resolved your issue right, he will listen to you first and not just dismiss you without hearing what you have to say.

Issue#2: If I'm quiet, he thinks I am mad at him already without asking how I am in the first place. Sometimes, I am having a bad day due to familial problems and he don't even asked.

If your partner doesn't ask about anything else in your life, I'd say it's a major concern. It's like, I like you but I am not interested anything other than including your family and friends. Relationship is a partnership. Make your partner understand that you are not asking them to resolved your issue for them but at least, do listen. Sometimes, all it takes is a good listener for you to be able to think clearly and work on the problem efficiently.

It takes time to discuss personal matter. I know that from experience. But my partner always encourage me that it's okay and that he respects if it's hard for me to be open for the time being. Yet, he never made me feel that my problems are just my problems. He never makes me feel that I'm alone even though I don't tell him right away my concerns. He always provide me a venue where I can bare my soul without being judged.

Once you cultivate that kind of atmosphere in your relationship, everything goes smoothly. If he is having a bad day, I can tell. If he is stressed out, I would know. If something is bothering him, we sit down and talk about it. For the last 13 months and considering we are in a long distance relationship, we never had a fight. The key, he is sensitive to my needs and I'd like to think I am too.

Issue#3: Our past issues are often put aside without fully resolving them. So a slight trigger will bring back the old issue to the surface. It just don't get resolved at all.

Ignoring and pretending a certain incident did not happened when they actually did is trouble. They will keep coming back in the surface. Acknowledging the issue is the very first step of resolving it. It will just be a cycle really.

Issue#4: I'm a movie buddy, window shopping friend, tag-a-long girlfriend to trips. We don't talk about our families, we never have intimate talk like other couples have. I even don't feel comfortable buying some house stuff if I am with him.

Boy oh boy. If you don't talk anything intimate or personal, can you even call that a relationship? I call that friendship but even in friendship at some point you will be able to talks things openly. And if he only wants you because he needs a movie date, someone who will go with him at the mall or someone he can bring to trips, it's good but you luck one important element... intimacy. And sooner or later, you will start looking for it and that's where bigger issues springs.

Time and again I kept saying that I am more than lucky, I am blessed because I am in love with a very good man.

The answer to my question: Is my man sensitive enough... very, that's why we are very happy together.

First Reaction

First Reaction. Type what comes to your mind first whenever you hear these 40 words. Don't think and don't go back and change. Doesn't matter how random, just type it!

1. Beer: limit - 4 bottles (a very cold one please)
2. Anorexic: I pity them
3. Relationship: Great!
4. Your Last Ex: What ex are you talking about?
5. Power Rangers: Kimberly and Jason (Pink and Red Rangers)
6. Weed: Ugh, poison
7. Smoking: Government warning: Cigarette smoking is dangerous to your health.
8. Life: Tough but beautiful
9. The President: Greedy
10. Dreams: Everyone has to got one
11. Cars: Fast
12. Gas Prices: Up
13. Halloween: Trick or Treat
14. Bon Jovi: Sleeping child
15. Transvestites: Entertaining
16. Myspace: Unused and deleted
17. Worst fear: Losing my loved ones
18. Marriage: Something that I strongly believe in
19. Paris Hilton: Heir
20. Brunettes: Love the hair color
21. Redheads: Better than blonde hair
22: Politics: I'm apathetic, sorry
23: Work: Stable
24. One night stands: No thanks
25: Cell Phone: Motorola
26: High school: Learned so many things
27. Pajamas: Comfy
28. Woods: Tiger? Unfaithful
29. Wet Socks: Laundry
30. Alcohol: Margarita please
31. Undies: Lacy and skimpy
32. Your best friend: Hilarious and crazy
33. Money: Enough to get by
34. Heartache: Occasional, seasonal
35. Love: Sweetie
36. Time: Can't stop it
37. Divorce: I don't believe in them
38. Today: Fresh start
39. Yesterday: Is another day gone forever
40. You: You make everything alright =)

I Find It Rather Amusing

Let's just say, I pay good attention to the littlest thing there is and I just want to write about this one thing that I find rather amusing. I mean, how hard it is to actually say that you don't want to discuss certain things for the time being?

You see, none discussion of certain topics can be brought about by a couple of good reasons. I know because I experienced this. Sometimes, the issue is just too complicated so the person would want to sort things out first. Or the person is deeply affected by the matter on hand. Or she is simply buying time, don't know how to verbalize certain things and would like to think through it. But the worst you can do is make that person feel that you avoiding the topic.

Some people like to hear excuses, the beating-around-the-bush kind of game. While some prefer the blunt truth. I prefer the latter, I'd like the let-us-hear-it-now-so-we-can-get-over-this-thing. But then again, that's just really the logical me talking. The illogical me would say, cut the crap and save those excuses to yourself.

A New Beginning

I don't know what's with New Year but it always give me a renewed enthusiasm. With every closing of year, I have this renewed spirit to just be better and just do better in the coming year. And although I know that I really don't need to wait for the year end to make all those resolution list which I never get around of doing anyway, still, I have a few things that I bear in mind before the year starts.

2009 taught me to be patient, to wait, to not rush. 2010, I will be more patient and let things takes it course. It must be of good reason why I don't always get the things that I want or things don't work out the way I think it will be. I can't expect people to think the way I think, for them to operate the way I operate, so let it be.

2009 taught me so much about family and responsibility. 2010, my learning continues.

2009 showed me how great real friends are. 2010, cultivate the friendship for these are the people that accepts me, supports me, understands me, cares for me, loves me no matter how crazy I can get.

2009 showed me what real love is...the kind and unconditional one. The one that never judge, the one that embraces all your faults. Through the course of that journey, I learned so much about myself. 2010, countless possibilities...

I hope that with every new beginning given to me I'll be a better me.