She and I haven't talk for sometime already. Last time we did she almost broke down in tears. I dismissed it, although I was tempted to ask what's going on after she shot me a look. Obviously, she don't want to talk about it in front of her boyfriend.
Today like almost every single day is a slow day. I asked her to go out and have lunch with me. The moment we settled, she explained to me what was happening to her relationship. I sat there, attentively listening to their issues.
Issue#1: He don't listen to me. If I say something, he always think I am overreacting and that I'm being childish. I rather keep my mouth shut because if I attempt to explain what's going on, he thinks I am complaining again.
My partner always say that the best thing about us is that we communicate. Very true. We have our moment of misunderstanding(who doesn't) but we solved it right away by talking about it. Avoiding the issue won't help. I have my moments of irrationality and when I do so, I feel like it would be better if I hide things from him. Sometimes, I feel that I can resolved it on my own or the ill feelings will go away after a day. I am mistaken in ever thinking that. I don't feel any better if I hide things from him. In fact, I was never successful of hiding things from him. At the end of day, what makes me feel better is that we talk about what every petty things I feel. We objectively discuss familial and work concerns.
You see, it's not overreacting or being childish if you say your concern. If it is and you maintain an open relationship, your partner will certainly tell you. If you are going overboard and the issues you are whining about our baseless, he will tell you. If he is really concern and wants to resolved your issue right, he will listen to you first and not just dismiss you without hearing what you have to say.
Issue#2: If I'm quiet, he thinks I am mad at him already without asking how I am in the first place. Sometimes, I am having a bad day due to familial problems and he don't even asked.
If your partner doesn't ask about anything else in your life, I'd say it's a major concern. It's like, I like you but I am not interested anything other than including your family and friends. Relationship is a partnership. Make your partner understand that you are not asking them to resolved your issue for them but at least, do listen. Sometimes, all it takes is a good listener for you to be able to think clearly and work on the problem efficiently.
It takes time to discuss personal matter. I know that from experience. But my partner always encourage me that it's okay and that he respects if it's hard for me to be open for the time being. Yet, he never made me feel that my problems are just my problems. He never makes me feel that I'm alone even though I don't tell him right away my concerns. He always provide me a venue where I can bare my soul without being judged.
Once you cultivate that kind of atmosphere in your relationship, everything goes smoothly. If he is having a bad day, I can tell. If he is stressed out, I would know. If something is bothering him, we sit down and talk about it. For the last 13 months and considering we are in a long distance relationship, we never had a fight. The key, he is sensitive to my needs and I'd like to think I am too.
Issue#3: Our past issues are often put aside without fully resolving them. So a slight trigger will bring back the old issue to the surface. It just don't get resolved at all.
Ignoring and pretending a certain incident did not happened when they actually did is trouble. They will keep coming back in the surface. Acknowledging the issue is the very first step of resolving it. It will just be a cycle really.
Issue#4: I'm a movie buddy, window shopping friend, tag-a-long girlfriend to trips. We don't talk about our families, we never have intimate talk like other couples have. I even don't feel comfortable buying some house stuff if I am with him.
Boy oh boy. If you don't talk anything intimate or personal, can you even call that a relationship? I call that friendship but even in friendship at some point you will be able to talks things openly. And if he only wants you because he needs a movie date, someone who will go with him at the mall or someone he can bring to trips, it's good but you luck one important element... intimacy. And sooner or later, you will start looking for it and that's where bigger issues springs.
Time and again I kept saying that I am more than lucky, I am blessed because I am in love with a very good man.
The answer to my question: Is my man sensitive enough... very, that's why we are very happy together.
Today like almost every single day is a slow day. I asked her to go out and have lunch with me. The moment we settled, she explained to me what was happening to her relationship. I sat there, attentively listening to their issues.
Issue#1: He don't listen to me. If I say something, he always think I am overreacting and that I'm being childish. I rather keep my mouth shut because if I attempt to explain what's going on, he thinks I am complaining again.
My partner always say that the best thing about us is that we communicate. Very true. We have our moment of misunderstanding(who doesn't) but we solved it right away by talking about it. Avoiding the issue won't help. I have my moments of irrationality and when I do so, I feel like it would be better if I hide things from him. Sometimes, I feel that I can resolved it on my own or the ill feelings will go away after a day. I am mistaken in ever thinking that. I don't feel any better if I hide things from him. In fact, I was never successful of hiding things from him. At the end of day, what makes me feel better is that we talk about what every petty things I feel. We objectively discuss familial and work concerns.
You see, it's not overreacting or being childish if you say your concern. If it is and you maintain an open relationship, your partner will certainly tell you. If you are going overboard and the issues you are whining about our baseless, he will tell you. If he is really concern and wants to resolved your issue right, he will listen to you first and not just dismiss you without hearing what you have to say.
Issue#2: If I'm quiet, he thinks I am mad at him already without asking how I am in the first place. Sometimes, I am having a bad day due to familial problems and he don't even asked.
If your partner doesn't ask about anything else in your life, I'd say it's a major concern. It's like, I like you but I am not interested anything other than including your family and friends. Relationship is a partnership. Make your partner understand that you are not asking them to resolved your issue for them but at least, do listen. Sometimes, all it takes is a good listener for you to be able to think clearly and work on the problem efficiently.
It takes time to discuss personal matter. I know that from experience. But my partner always encourage me that it's okay and that he respects if it's hard for me to be open for the time being. Yet, he never made me feel that my problems are just my problems. He never makes me feel that I'm alone even though I don't tell him right away my concerns. He always provide me a venue where I can bare my soul without being judged.
Once you cultivate that kind of atmosphere in your relationship, everything goes smoothly. If he is having a bad day, I can tell. If he is stressed out, I would know. If something is bothering him, we sit down and talk about it. For the last 13 months and considering we are in a long distance relationship, we never had a fight. The key, he is sensitive to my needs and I'd like to think I am too.
Issue#3: Our past issues are often put aside without fully resolving them. So a slight trigger will bring back the old issue to the surface. It just don't get resolved at all.
Ignoring and pretending a certain incident did not happened when they actually did is trouble. They will keep coming back in the surface. Acknowledging the issue is the very first step of resolving it. It will just be a cycle really.
Issue#4: I'm a movie buddy, window shopping friend, tag-a-long girlfriend to trips. We don't talk about our families, we never have intimate talk like other couples have. I even don't feel comfortable buying some house stuff if I am with him.
Boy oh boy. If you don't talk anything intimate or personal, can you even call that a relationship? I call that friendship but even in friendship at some point you will be able to talks things openly. And if he only wants you because he needs a movie date, someone who will go with him at the mall or someone he can bring to trips, it's good but you luck one important element... intimacy. And sooner or later, you will start looking for it and that's where bigger issues springs.
Time and again I kept saying that I am more than lucky, I am blessed because I am in love with a very good man.
The answer to my question: Is my man sensitive enough... very, that's why we are very happy together.
No comments:
Post a Comment