Sister Talk

My mom handed me some monthly bills to pay and my sister can't help but comment when she left the room. She said, "Manang, thank you for this home, for sending me to school and for taking care good care of us." I paused and fight back the tears that is about to fall. That was my younger sister talking, a kid in my eyes and she was thanking me. I tease her and said, "Do you like me to buy you some chocolates?" she said, "No, but thank you so much."

The responsibilities that I have on my shoulder sometimes overwhelmed me. Family first before anything else. Family first before I think of my vacation. Family first over my wants. One of my close friend even tease me once, "Jane you are selfish when it comes to yourself" and I just shrugged his comment and said, "Someday".

When I think of it, God has been so good to us. Almost all businesses in Bacolod are struggling and my father's business is no exception but it came at the time that I was almost graduating and I was able to find a job that is sustainable enough for me to be able to provide my family. My sister has still 2 more years in college but I survived the first two years so I know that we will be fine. Being the breadwinner is no easy task but I am getting by and I guess more importantly, I have become a better individual through it all. I know now what is important and what is not. Knowing what is a necessity over my wants.

As I sat down beside my sister who sounded worried about me, I said.."It's all worth it, you are all worth it" and she kissed me.

My Dad and Lean

A big kiss from Lean

Ukay - Ukay

Ukay-Ukay is a Visayan term for "sift through" or "dig up" (Dr. Jaime S. Ong). It refers to the garments shipped to the Philippines as donations from some charitable group to help refugees and calamity victims. Soon enough, overseas workers learned to collect used clothing, preferably with designer labels, before it got to the Goodwill stores and send it to the Philippines in balikbayan boxes. Entrepreneurial friends and relatives would buy in bulk then sell by the piece to the public.

Ukay-ukay has been here for so long but it is only now that I really got hook into it, well me and my bestfriend actually (hehe). I remember my college classmates before, they would go to this flea market preferably early in the morning to dig up the best buy ever and looking all fashionable during our dress down days.

Just imagine a top for P50.00 ($1). You can simply mix and match it with what you have already and there, you got a new outfit without hurting your pocket. I have an unglamorous job (as others call it) that pays really well. But even if I have a considerably good paycheck every month, I still feel guilty buying branded clothes although I do splurge once in a while in them.

For a practical woman like me, ukay-ukay is such a feel-good-guilt-free way to shop clothes. This is the new stress reliever activity for me and my best friend. As what my best friend and I always say, it's not the label that we are after but the comfort of the clothes that matters. After all, if you know how to carry yourself, branded or not, you will still look good. =)

At 30

By 30, you should have:

One old boyfriend you can imagine going back to and one who reminds you of how far you’ve come.
A decent piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in your family.
Something perfect to wear if the employer or man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour.
A purse, a suitcase and an umbrella you’re not ashamed to be seen carrying.
A youth you’re content to move beyond.
A past juicy enough that you’re looking forward to retelling it in your old age.
The realization that you are actually going to have an old age—and some money set aside to help fund it.
An e-mail address, a voice mailbox and a bank account—all of which nobody has access to but you.
A résumé that is not even the slightest bit padded.
One friend who always makes you laugh and one who lets you cry.
A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill and a black lace bra.
Something ridiculously expensive that you bought for yourself, just because you deserve it.
The belief that you deserve it.
A skin-care regimen, an exercise routine and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don’t get better after 30.
A solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship and all those other facets of life that do get better.

By 30, you should know:

How to fall in love without losing yourself.
How you feel about having kids.
How to quit a job, break up with a man and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.
When to try harder and when to walk away.
How to kiss in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn’t like to happen next.
How to live alone, even if you don’t like to.
How to take control of your own birthday.
That you can’t change the length of your calves, the width of your hips or the nature of your parents.
That your childhood may not have been perfect, but it’s over.
What you would and wouldn’t do for money or love.
That nobody gets away with smoking, drinking, doing drugs or not flossing for very long.
Who you can trust, who you can’t and why you shouldn’t take it personally.
Not to apologize for something that isn’t your fault.
Why they say life begins at 30.

This was an email sent to me by one of my girl friend who is turning 30 soon. I italicized the line that doesn't fit me. I think it's a good guideline for women who is turning 30 and is still single. The second part of it is what I like the most. True enough, no matter what age you are nor how much you have grown as an individual, there are things that are out of your control..things that you can never change and it is best that you just accept it such as the nature of parents (I definitely agree).

I also agree that certain people in our lives are not there forever. Some friends drift away while some grow up with you and as time goes by, you see how beautiful that single soul is. That people will betray you, hate you and will try to change you but you got to stand your ground and walk away if necessary. That love is beautiful and it should create a happy soul not destroy it. That no matter how you love a person, you shouldn't lose yourself in it.