Random Observation

I don't know if its lack of attention, lack of recognition, lack of self-esteem that pushes her to do the things she does. I know she is not aware of her odd habits and actions but instead of being annoyed, half the time I find it rather amusing.

She hovers the conversation but when it comes to real stuff, she always ask questions. She talks like she knows it all which makes it hard for others to say their piece on the matter but she is the first one yet again to ask.

And I don't know why she always raised her voice in stressing a point nor she always sounds angry when talking. If she talks, that is usually the time when I shut my mouth and listen and observe and simply smile.

Blabber

Breakfast was great. It's nice to be surrounded with people especially when you are feeling a bit off. Catching up with friends is always nice. Makes you feel you're no stranger in their life.

Laugh. Nice to hear them, music in my ear. Nice to be consumed by the sound of it, for a minute you forget all your inadequacies and just be genuinely happy for the happiness they feel.

Room. Makes me feel secure. How I wish I can just sleep it all off. But why can't I? Talking? Don't feel like talking. Tired of talking about the same worries. So redundant. I hate being redundant, I hate repeating myself. I just want to sit, do nothing, think of nothing.

Self. I miss my old self. I like the new Jane don't get me wrong. But I'm being so sensitive. I'm too emotional. I'm making myself too vulnerable. Not right. I have to practice moderation. Excess of something is always hazardous to oneself.

Pictures. I should stay away from them. Makes me sad. Makes me jealous. Why can they and I can't? Breaks my heart to pieces. Will I ever? For sure I will, the big question is...when? Sigh.

Surprise. Whoever is leaving little presents on my desk, thank you. Are my co-workers playing tricks on me? They all said no. Oh well, I love presents so I'll take them. Don't tell me who you are, let's keep your identity a secret. Only a few people knows how to surprise me, in fact, only a few people ever surprise me. Other than this, it's been a while since someone surprise me - not even my friends, hmmmm. Calling out to my friends...Girls, I want to be surprised, hehe.

Sweets. Chocolates. What a great company they are. They never fail to make me happy. Emotional eater? Yes and so? Everyone is entitled to pig-out once in a while. I'm justifying my actions...I know that but let me be.

Work. I have to work now because I'm paid to work and not to blog, hehe. One of the privileges of being tenured is you get to goof around. Am I abusing it? Could be, hehe. But then again, I never fail to reach my quota. What can I do, I work smart.

Idle chatter. Yes, this is me chattering with my own self. Puzzled? Me too.